As parents we hear it said all too often “there is no rule book to raising children” after being a part of Bethany Hill’s Parents’ Cafe we would beg to differ.  Pam Bailey from Families First taught parents over the course of a few months what we have interpreted to be a two step guide to raise children to be successful adults.

Step one: Start with the end. As parents of and 11 and a 1 year old, we have learned that is best to have a goal or a vision not just for a day out to the zoo, but also for the day that our children leave home and become independent citizens of the world. One evening Pam asked the parents in the room “What kind of adult to you want your child to be?” The parents paused for a minute as we thought on the question then almost rhythmically we began raising our hand. We gave answers like “responsible,” “intelligent,” and “prepared for the world.” Ms. Bailey wrote our responses down and then said “good, now we know where we’re going.” Once we, as parents, have in mind what kind of adult we want to send into the world half of our work is done because now we are able to focus our efforts into molding our children to become that.

Step 2: Tailoring your parenting. From our individual gifts and talents down to our unique fingerprints no two people are alike. Sometimes as a parent we forget this. We may sometimes set goals and attempt to carry them out in a manner that fits out individual learning or communication style forgetting that our child or children may respond better to a different style of instruction. For example we spoke about children that have difficulty sitting still for long periods of time without losing focus. This tends to be the child that piles up infractions at school for things like tapping a pencil or socializing too much. Ms. Bailey emphasized tailoring your parenting based on each individual child, never setting too much in stone, leaving room for compromise, and helping them to be their best.

Ms. Bailey gave great examples about her son, Austin, and two other sons and how she had to tailor her parenting to fit each of their individual learning styles for their own success. Overall Pam Bailey is an enthusiastic teacher with a wealth of knowledge which she presents in a way that is both personable and effective.

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